All The Little Things

Another meme so I can put off yoga

Tue, 05 May 2009 13:48:44 GMT

Things you have done during your lifetime:

( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost
( ) Been to the Smithsonian
(x) Been to the Statue of Liberty
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Played in the rain
( X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( )Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Gone scuba diving
( )Lived in more than one country
(X) Lived in more than one state
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(x) Rolled down a grassy hill like a kid (as an adult)
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Ziplined in Costa Rica
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(x) Been to Disneyland/Disney world
( ) Been to Yosemite National Park
( ) Been to Yellowstone National Park
( ) Seen Mount Rushmore
(x) Been in a rain forest
(x) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Been to the Grand Canyon
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Seen the pyramids in Egypt
( ) Swam with dolphins
(x) Swam with sharks
( ) Swam with sea lions
(x) Swam with sting rays
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been skygliding
( ) Been parasailing
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean or Adriatic
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game

Hmmm, not quite as exciting as I had hoped... Oh, well. Maybe I just need to have more adventures so I can check a few more things off of this list.

Whoa...

Fri, 01 May 2009 22:12:47 GMT

I have officially finished one year of studio studies at the Atlantic Theater School. Still waiting for the shock to subside.

Slammed

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:12:24 GMT

Once more, my group is slamming me (and my scene partners) with a ridiculously short amount of time to prepare a complex scene. Damnit! Come on, people. Step up a little, will ya? Everyone is busy. But trying to put together a four-person scene in two days??? Please, give me a break.

*Breathing*

A Few Notes

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 01:55:45 GMT

Note the First: Note to self. Tara, calm down! All will be well. You will be fine. Go eat something. And there is nothing wrong with getting a decent amount of sleep each night, just be careful. Sometimes the sleep is because you're not eating enough.

Note the Second: Sometimes, you just need SOMEONE around to talk to, albeit briefly, and they show up just at the right time. I got to be that someone for a person in need this evening. It feels nice to be able to give that.

Note the Third: I have the best friends and family I could ever imagine. I am one lucky girl.

Note the Fourth: Being so tired all of the time is patently uncool. Need to figure out something else to keep me awake. Maybe I should read more...

Note the Fifth: March is going to fly by, putting me one month closer to home (in my mind)!

Long Vermont Roads (The Magnetic Fields)

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 13:18:29 GMT

I don't do these often. Let's see if something interesting appears.

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Write it down, even if it sounds silly.
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the memo as well as the person you got the memo from.

If someone says, "Is this okay?" you say...
What If You (Joshua Radin)

What would best describe your personality?
Be Less Rude (Frightened Rabbit)

What do you like in a guy/girl?
La Vie Boheme (RENT)

How do you feel today?
Baby Won't You Please Come Home (Django Reinhardt)

What is your life's purpose?
A Caution to the Birds (Glen Hansard)

What is your motto?
Last Tango In Paris (Gotan Project)

What do your friends think of you?
Don't Let Go (Weezer)

What do you think about very often?
I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (Dean Martin)

What is 2+2?
Nocturne Op. 15, #2 in F Sharp (Chopin)

What do you think of your best friend(s)?
Yellow (OTR's cover of the Coldplay song)

What do you think of the person you like?
Not Enough Time (INXS)

What is your life story?
Shatter (Liz Phair)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Mystery Girl (Raul Midon)

What do you think when you see the person you like?
Why Do You Treat Me Like You Do (Donovan)

What do your parents think of you?
What If (Coldplay)

What will you dance to at your wedding?
Boy With A Coin (Iron & Wine)

What will they play at your funeral?
Stones in My Passway (Robert Johnson)

What is your hobby/interest?
How Strange It Seems (Edwin McCain)

What is your biggest secret?
The Most Beautiful Girl In the Room (Flight of the Conchords)

What do you think of your friends?
After the Curtain (Beirut)

What's the worst thing that could happen?
Nothing [Lifestyle of a Torture] (The Dandy Warhols)

How will you die?
Theme (Cibo Matto)

What is the one thing you regret?
I Would Fly (OTR)

What makes you laugh?
A Sunday Smile (Beirut)

What makes you cry?
Satan is My Motor (Cake)

Will you ever get married?
Sunshine and Clouds and Everything Proud (Clap Your Hands Say Yeah)

What scares you the most?
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight (The Postal Service)

Does anyone like you?
Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk (Rufus Wainwright)

If you could go back in time, what would you change?
Ruled By Secrecy (Muse)

What hurts right now?
You and Me Song (The Wannadies)

What will you post this as?
Long Vermont Roads (The Magnetic Fields)

Survey to Start Off the Morning Right!

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:07:28 GMT

TEN FIRSTS

First Best Friend: My dog, Elgin (yes, I know that sounds sad, but he rocked)
First Screen Name: iluvglitter
First Pet: Two cats--Samson and Delilah
First Crush: Justin K, third grade. Everyone wanted to be like him.
First CD: Tracy Chapman, I think
First Car: 1986 Isuzu Trooper
First True Love: Damian (and we're still friends! Victory!)
First Stuffed Animal: Corduroy, my teddy bear
First Trip: Pennsylvania & NY, to see family and go to Hersheyland. I was two and am still a bit angry that I wasn't old enough at the time to remember going to Hersheyland.
First Computer: An Acer laptop that crashed almost daily from the day I turned it on.

NINE LASTS

Last Car Ride: Back to Christina's house from karaoke at Taylor's
Last Movie Seen: Twilight with Christina
Last Phone Call: Kory
Last CD Played: CDs? Ha! I think the last album I listened to on my iPod was The Helio Sequence's Keep Your Eyes Ahead
Last Bubble bath: Sometime last summer
Last time you cried: A few days ago
Last time you laughed: Talking with Christina last night after I got back to her place
Last thing you ate: Garlic fries
Last thing you drank: Water

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS

Have you ever dated one of your best friends: They were a best friend after I started dating them . . .
Have you ever been arrested: No
Have you ever been on TV: Yes
Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: No. No regrets!
Have you ever been to a concert: Several
Have you ever failed a class: No
Have you ever played a video game for more than five hours: Yes
Have you ever been in a car accident: No

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING

1. Geek-chic Rivers Quomo-style glasses
2. Argyle sock--left foot
3. Workout pants
4. Baggy NYU t-shirt
5. Undies
6. Argyle sock--right foot
7. A smile

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY/IN THE LAST 24 HOURS

1. Saw several friends in varying locations
2. Hauled around a Box of Rock [Band]
3. Plugged in my Mac
4. Had some crazy-ass, vivid dreams (these are becoming frequent, almost nightly--time to write them down)
5. Brushed my teeth
6. Ate food that was bad for me but tasted good :)

FIVE PEOPLE YOU HUNG OUT WITH TODAY/IN THE LAST 24 HOURS

1. Christina
2. Ruth
3. Kory
4. Lilith
5. Michael

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO

1. Sarah
2. Sam
3. Ben
4. Barbie

THREE CHOICES

1. Hot or Cold: Hot
2. Black or white: Black
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Perform on Broadway
2. Travel Europe

ONE THING YOU REGRET OR WISH FOR YOURSELF

1. I have no regrets! However, I do wish I were better at remembering what I like about myself. I'm not looking to get a huge ego; I want to carry the love of my friends with me all of the time, especially for the lonely moments.

In other news, I've posted another blog in case you want to check it out.

Happy New Year, all :)

Celebs do musical PSA on Prop 8

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 00:59:03 GMT

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I am a big fan of many in this film, especially JB and Neil Patrick Harris (is he just NPH now?). Enjoy!

Best Guy Fox Day Yet

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:15:42 GMT

"Happy New President!" I text message to people. Kory calls. "I'msorryKoryIhavetocallyoubackthePresidentistalking." Click.

There just may be some light at the end of this tunnel.

My Power

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:45:30 GMT

I know, with the new Blogger spot, I rarely write here much any more. I thought this was fun, so I'm sharing it here. (Thanks, blaze!)

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		75%
Superman		70%
Supergirl		70%
Wonder Woman		65%
Batman		55%
Robin		42%
The Flash		40%
Iron Man		40%
Green Lantern		35%
Hulk		30%
Catwoman		30%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

New Blog!

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:32:50 GMT

Not to be boring or anything, but I'm finding that simply importing my new blog from blogger is the easiest way to keep lots of people updated at once. With that said, you can check it out (complete with brightly-colored layout) at: http://themisadventuresoftarabug.blogspot.com.

Also, my new address is:
232 Meserole St, Apt. 22
Brooklyn, NY 11206

In case you were wondering, my phone number is not changing. Call anytime!

Love,
Bug

Staying Connected

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:57:36 GMT

Hey, folks.

I'm all out of cell phone minutes this month, and it costs me to make AND to recieve calls. In order to stay in touch with me until July 1st:

-Text me. Yeah, it's 10 cents to send or recieve, but it's better than the 45 cent per minute calling charge.
-Call me after 9pm. Yes, I'm up. No, it's not rude.
-Call me on the weekend.
-If your phone plan is AT&T, call me all you want! Hooray for free mobile-to-mobile!
-Email/message me via some chat program or other. I will try to be available online more.

Really, it's not too bad, just one week until my minutes are reset. Thanks for your patience!
Tara

Growing Up. Wierd.

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 05:59:53 GMT

More than one post from me this evening--yes, strange. I know.

Have you felt like you have watched a dream go by? No matter how much you wanted it, some dream will walk past you, wave and smile, and send its condolences. Better luck next time.

Perhaps needless to say, I have just experienced one such moment. Be prepared to laugh at me--and keep it to yourself. I wanted to be a pop star. Baaaaaaadly. Not Britney Spears, entirely, but a chance to do the Disney scene. I could totally be that girl, dancing and singing. I do that all the time. I love up-beat pop music. Not all of it, mind you, but there is something to be said for a good pop song.

And now, the dream has gone by. Certainly, I have not lost my drive or desire to be the entertainer, but my goals have branched out. I would love to be the lead in a big musical, but the odds are against me. For the summer, I'll be running around in my undies, bringing up issues of power, trust, AIDS, life, love, and death. A different audience, similar goals. Ha. Who woulda thunk it?

Moving and Still

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 02:59:09 GMT

I am basically moved in at C's place. Sadly, none of the people who offered to help actually showed up (nor did they answer any phone calls), but one of the Daos was glad to help at the offer of food and booze. Seeing as he was the only one to assist--and he managed to quarter the amount of time it was taking me to do everything on my own--I took him to Turtles. A good meal, and I was ready to crash, but he pushed on. We were able to make one more good-sized trip, leaving my bed, bike, and a few smallish things to transport tomorrow. Besides the last of that stuff and cleaning the apartment, we should be out pretty soon. Good times.

Jack Bauer called, which was lovely. No, not the Jack Bauer. My brother is an undercover cop who has worked several times for the US marshals, certified EMT/firefighter... he's Jack Bauer. Most of the calls I recieve from him are on his way to some crime scene or other. Crazy. So, big brother called. I love talking to him for so many reasons. We were deprived of one another growing up, but we have always felt a mutual protectivess. Granted, he is far more likely to punch some guy for me than I am for him. Then again, I'm the little sister. He should be punching people for me. It's the natural order of things.
We also share father issues, though he is a bit more angry, and I am more. . . frank. I tell the man like it is: here is how I'm feeling, here is why, and here is what you can do. No, you can't buy my love, but you're welcome to try. Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm not exploitative or cruel--I'm just out of patience and not willing to shoot the shit when something isn't okay.
I think my brother and I make a good pair. We're into a lot of the same music, and we both approach life with similar attitudes. How much of that is due to natural tendencies and how much is my brother's influence, I can't really say. Whatever way you slice it, I am terribly lucky to have him. He wants me to come and visit him at the end of July--no cigar. How does that old phrase go? Oh, yes: I can't. I have rehearsal. Good thing this is a show that I really am excited about, or I may be tempted to do something. . . um. . . unprofessional in order to spend time with my bro. He has also offered to have me for Thanksgiving, and maybe for Christmas. The latter may piss mom off--never a good idea--but I will have a month off from school for winter break. I'm saving pennies for a flight out there now.

In the meantime, I'm just chilling at, well, home. Today feels like a new chapter. I'm not really sure what to do with it all. That's probably good. Just take it in, kick back, and see what happens. Besdies, I have stuff to sew and lines to study. The wheel just keeps on turnin'.

Gin Blossoms Kinda Day

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:16:37 GMT

I have so much stuff. And it's all useful. Tons of books filled with notes, bags of fabric, boxes of art supplies. Perhaps I have too many hobbies. But I can't bear to part with a lot of this stuff. Though it all is going into boxes, my belongings have made their way into every room of the house, making me feel far more spread-out and unprepared than I actually am.

Tomorrow is the day we move. I'm hoping to get it all done in the morning (including the rest of the cleaning), check out Ian's gig in the afternoon, and crash on Saturday night. That leaves Sunday for sewing, ship stuff, getting started on my show for the summer. . . I just don't stop.

Check out the packing insanity:

Perhaps Not Lost to the Sands of Time?

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:20:28 GMT

Sorry if you see this posting elsewhere, but I'm putting it everywhere people may see it in hopes of regaining some of my lost stuff...

I'm packing up the books I'm intending to take to New York with me, primarily scripts, theatre-related materials, and a couple of my favorite pieces of literature. (Sorry, Harry Potter, you'll be living in a box at my parents' house for a while.)

In my packing, I've noticed several books missing. I'm wondering if I've loaned anything to any of you nice folks. Among them:

-The Real Inspector Hound and other plays--Tom Stoppard (anthology, white cover, small picture of stoppard on the cover, paperback)
-The Picture of Dorian Grey and other writings--Oscar Wilde (anthology, paperback, cool photo/illustration of a Dorian Grey-type fellow on the cover with an anitiqued, yellow-ish background)
-True & False--Davd Mamet (paperback, photo of Mamet in a theatre on the cover)

I'm not sure if anything else is absent from my shelf, but if you happen upon any of these books and you think, "Oh! I borrowed this from Tara!" I would greatly appreciate its return. This especially applies to the Mamet book; it's an object of incredible sentimental and intellectual value, and I am going into the Mamet-founded wing of NYU. . .

Thanks for keeping your eyes peeled!
<3 Tara

Fri, 23 May 2008 19:08:29 GMT

Part of me feels as though I have written about this before and should have tagged my blog so I could find it more easily. Part of me thinks I've just talked about this and never written my response in any way I can look at again. Either way, this topic continues to rear its head. Time to type.

So many people are getting married and/or having children lately. Girls I went to school with from mid-elementary school through high school are throwing bridal and baby showers, and it freaks me out a little. Yes, yes, I know what you may be thinking: Tara, weren't you going to get married? Yes, yes I was. And then I figured out that it was not a good idea. There are more male-female connections besides romance, and we figured out that we worked as friends, not as lovers. It was a great decision, and I will never look back on it with disappointment or disdain. I have a wonderful friend whose closeness to me will never lose its light, and I've found my own path, refusing to redirect myself for someone else.

I don't mean to say that my friends are wrong in what they are doing. I wish them all nothing but happiness in this world and any other worlds that exist. Am I behind somehow? No. I am not even 22 years old and am about to move across the country to pursue my dreams. I am selfish, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I am not opposed to romantic exploration, but I find myself to be far too self-involved at this point in my life to really take care of another person's needs and desires--let alone a child. Perhaps parenthood is something you are born to do. Perhaps it's all about timing, and the time is just not right. For now, I simply have no drive for that kind of life-altering experience; plenty of changes are on my plate right now, and I don't know that I'm ready for anything else.

My wonderment is truly surrounding the diverging of paths. No way could any of us have anticipated in high school just where we would be four years later. I dearly miss those friends. I was invited to attend one of those friend's wedding a couple years ago, which I attended. I haven't seen us all together since then. Bummer. To each their own journey.

Tara is My Name. Busy is My Game.

Thu, 22 May 2008 19:28:44 GMT

I've been working on homework, having a million wrap-up meetings for SPA, and not letting NYU money get me too riled-up. Going to a private university in New York is not cheap (for those who may have been wondering). For now, I'm just taking it one step at a time. This can be particularly difficult when the first step--an $800 deposit--is the first step for several staircases which must be traversed, so getting money to NYU has to happen before I can even access other paperwork that has to be filled out. Ahh, following the red tape. Fun.

I also need to find a job this summer. Sarah wants to pay me some for the work I'm doing for her wedding dress (and, now, for several members of the wedding party as well). That's all well and good, but it's not gonna feed me. If anyone knows of someone/somewhere that is hiring part-time and willing to hire someone through August, please key me in! (It would be extra cool if it were somewhere like Starbucks, especially because I could apply as a barista in NYC.)

Or, if anyone knows of someone who wants to pay me for being awesome, please give them my number.

In High Demand

Thu, 15 May 2008 17:46:42 GMT

I feel as though the world will feel one of two ways about you at any given time: either you are entirely ignored, or in terribly high demand. Emo as it sounds, it is incredible how quickly things switch between those two levels. I am in high demand right now, in very confusing ways not previously experienced by me. How do I deal? One day at a time, my friends. One day at a time.

In the interim, I'm scrambling to rake in $800 in the next week and a half to send to NYU to hold my spot in their enrollment as well as housing lists. If anyone knows a philanthropist looking to adopt a nearly 22-year-old girl who is pretty cool and makes a mean three-cheese-stuffed pasta shell dinner from scratch, CALL ME.

I Just Work Here

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 08:40:31 GMT

... or not. Crazy, surreal, strange day. One of the actresses in On the Razzle has mono, so it looks like I will be finishing out the run this week. If I am distant, tired, stressed, easily confused, or (essentially) unreachable, you know why now. I was so close to a term off... Not that I can say I'm entirely disappointed. That would be a lie. But I have been up for (nearly) 21 hours now. Bed time, all.

Ecstatically Selfish

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:01:43 GMT

I'm in New York City. Still. "But Tara," you may say, "I thought you were heading back today."
Yes, leaving today was the plan. And then the plans changed.

I love it here. Not just being near someone who means so much to me (though that is a major bonus), but spending time on me. Spending time for me. Not on other projects and other people. I love what I do in Eugene, and I care deeply for many of the people there. Rarely, however, do I get honest, true time for my own contemplation and self-searching. I am generally interrupted--however gladly--to work on projects and help out friends and colleagues. This trip, though... This is for me and whatever the hell my life is going to be.

As for New York, it is briskly paced and busy. Somehow, the rush doesn't get to me. It's energizing, the constant idea that everyone in the city is working toward getting something done. Productivity abounds here. That's part of the reason that, as crazy as the traffic can be, people always get where they need to go, quickly; the commonality of the mob's goal to get somewhere keeps everyone moving. I may just be tired of doing so much and not having enough hands to go around to get stuff done. Perhaps I needed a change of scene. No matter the case, I love this city more every day.

No, this does not imply my romatic situation is ideal, but it is good. And it is progressing. We're getting there--both of us are getting there--a little at a time. Thank you for your concern.

The possibility of moving out here means a lot of things. Mostly, it means growth in every aspect of life.

This feels rambling, unfocused. I am hitting another wall. My vocabulary slips away, dripping from a rusted mind into the pipes I've clogged with muddy dreams and aura hair. Enough for tonight. Enough.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:15:27 GMT

I'm sore. I'm tired. I managed to catch an obnoxious but not entirely debilitating head cold. I love New York.

A recap of my trip thus-far:

Day 1: Travel. San Fransisco airport is not helpful for poor college students looking for cheap food. I got off my first plane, ready for some comfort. Plane rides are hard for me, and I wanted nothing more than a McDonald's breakfast burrito and some orange juice. Sadly, no golden arches to be found. The food court is large, with pastries, sushi, mexican food, burgers... but nothing for under $9 a pop. Screw this. I'm getting chai. Sadly, the only coffee place is at the other end of the terminal, and no Oregon Chai can be seen. Oh well. My plane was delayed for an extra two hours, so I may as well treat myself to some overpriced, poorly made tea. And look! A Burger King!
The longer flight was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. I managed to sleep through Alvin and the Chipmunks, and spent the rest of my time reading, listening to music, and watching Harry Potter #5. Thanks to iTunes for making movies available for rent.
Galen picked me up at the airport, and we arrived to Ben and the apartment a couple of subway rides later. After a slice of pizza, a good, hard sleep was in order.

Day 2: Exploration. Ben is currently in a show at NYU, so he took off early for rehearsal. I took the L (yes, all by myself!) to meet with him for lunch at Cosi. Oh, so good. The rest of the day was spent wandering around Manhattan, stopping back by NYU to see Ben every couple of hours. I had a guy offer to put me into a commercial, a homeless-looking guy (who I think was actually an actor) tell me I was cute, and a guy turn completely around from the way he had been going and follow me for half a block while singing--and he hadn't been singing when he was walking towards me. How novel. I love this town. I also found out that the Virgin Records Cafe has Oregon Chai, being one of the two places in town who do so. Mmmmm. Tastes like home. Lots of walking and soreness of the legs. We grabbed a little food and headed home for a movie and bed.

Day 3: Wonder. More walking. Yeah. I like this walking stuff. It's hard on your legs sometimes, but good. Another lunch with Benji. I spent the day closer to NYU, heading south a couple of blocks and wandering around some stores. I high-tailed it around the day before, and my shins were makin me pay for it. That evening, Galen and I ushed for the Blue Man Group, for which service we got seats in the 6th row! (Ben wasn't feeling well and stayed at home, sadly.) Holy shit, Blue Man Group. You have to see them live to really get it. That's another blog all on its own.

Day 4: Brilliance. I started really getting sniffly and sneezing. The head cold was upon me. Fuck that. All I have to say about yesterday is this: Closing night at BAM of Macbeth starring Patrick Stewart.

Commence wanting to be me..... NOW. Again, another blog all on its own.

Day 5: Sickness. Fuck this head cold. I'm staying at the apartment today, surfing the web, working on monologues and school stuff, watching movies, and generally chill-ax-ing. Hopefully more adventures from the week to follow soon.

The Calm

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:08:34 GMT

I can feel it swirling, surrounding every moment I take to sit still, to breathe and be comfortable with the idea of doing nothing for a little while. This week brings on the storm.

This week:
-On the Razzle rehearsals Monday thru Friday as well as next Monday and Tuesday.
-Shakespeare Showcase rehearsals Monday through Saturday, with the show on Saturday. Don't ask me how I'm going to work this out with the Razzle schedule. I don't know.
_Begin work on Spring Inspirations rehearsals/production stuff.
-Rehearsing for acting class as well as my NYU audition. One scene, two monologues.
-Play committee and SPA executive meetings this Tuesday, Thursday, and the Tuesday following.
-Finishing touches going on college applications and *hopefully* putting all necessary materials in the mail/submitting them all electronically.
-This is the week before finals. Study, finish homework, etc. One final on the 17th, and two on the 18th.
-Drive to Portland the night of the 18th, fly out to New York on the 19th. Be sure all needed school stuff has gone out, my stuff is packed, and nobody needs anything from me.

Awwww, hell. Here it goes.

This is your brain on my schedule

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:33:04 GMT

It seems that recently, I have ben unable to go through any given week without having several days with activites, classes, meetings and rehearsals back-to-back ALL DAY LONG. This is starting to get a little ridiculous. I mean, busy, yes, I can handle that. But this? I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to sustain this schedule. Add on top of that all the homework I need to do, outside things that need to be finished for future meetings and rehearsals, applying for colleges, prepping for auditions, figuring out how the hell I'm getting to auditions, and personal stresses.... I'm going nuts. Yep, I think that's it for me. My body may exist, but my brain is burnt out, uncomfortably scrambled like those old public service announcements where the lady would go crazy and smash an egg everywhere, saying, "This is your brain on drugs," before she demolished her kitchen.

Rumor has it that life will push you right to the edge, to the very point at which you can handle what is being thrown at you, and then it will back off a little. Before pushing you to the edge again. A short reprieve from something, anything, everything--am I asking that much?

I'm off to bed. Maybe I can make sense of this stuff better in the morning.

Adrift

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:30:54 GMT

How difficult it can be not to focus on the material things, on physical objects in life, when they hold so much value and meaning. Simply endowing an object with importance has a direct result on everyday life.

I have been spending this evening working on studying for my physics class. Papers, words, equations swim together over the waves of wrinkled bedding and strewn books--the driftwood of my life. I am stressed about this test tomorrow, about how it will affect my final grade and my chances of getting accepted into the school of my choice. A stapled packet of papers with an ink letter on it. That's all it is. But it's a representation of me, and it seems to weigh so heavily on the rest of my life at the moment.

A huge amount is demanded of people looking to get into college at any level--freshmen, transfers, grad students. You need good grades, good test scores, a list of extracurricular and volunteer activites, and money to boot. In the case of artists, there is generally a review of some sort, be it a portfolio or an audition. Here is my paradox: I need to prioritize. Okay, physics is not a major priority for me. Getting into another school is a major priority. But I need to do well as everything--including physics--in order to ensure my grades are good enough to get me into said school.

I fear at times that I don't have the capacity for learning that I once believed. I drink up information as well as week-old daisies in a darkened room drink up life. Can I take in enough to keep going when my life depends on it? I won't physically die, but I worry that part of myself will. I am vulnerable, I am weak. I am human.

In other news, I was able to make a few things happen today:
1. I pushed to get my talent grant information in so I won't be quite so broke.
2. I know now that I will be getting both financial aid information and a letter of recommendation tomorrow.
3. I rehearsed my scene for tomorrow.
4. I made plans to do work before class tomorrow and Wednesday with a couple of project partners.
5. I helped block the last bit of On the Razzle.
6. I made a ton of phone calls and made stuff happen for the SPA.

Not bad, all things considered. Now of I could just get my neck and back and body to relax.

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep. Oh, Robert Frost. Perhaps I am in need of poetry...

To Sleep

O SOFT embalmer of the still midnight!
Shutting with careful fingers and benign
Our gloom-pleased eyes, embower'd from the light,
Enshaded in forgetfulness divine;
O soothest Sleep! if so it please thee, close,
In midst of this thine hymn, my willing eyes,
Or wait the amen, ere thy poppy throws
Around my bed its lulling charities;
Then save me, or the passèd day will shine
Upon my pillow, breeding many woes; 1
Save me from curious conscience, that still lords
Its strength for darkness, burrowing like a mole;
Turn the key deftly in the oilèd wards,
And seal the hushèd casket of my soul.

~John Keats

My Life, the Sitcom

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 09:16:54 GMT

Chattering girls and awkward situations. Drinks and smokes and video games. Music and pizza, makeouts and breakups. And me, playing the part of the neutral, objective, nonparticipating third party, waiting for my neighbor to go inside, my apartment--particularly my room--to empty out. It has been a confusing evening as I have been sitting in this zoned-out, somewhat dream-like state, unable to really comprehend what the hell just happened over the last several hours. I wish I had the ability to analyze all of this. With luck, I will remember everything well enough to relate it humorously another day.

Until then, appreciate the ordinary. Appreciate the extraordinary. Above all, if you find yourself in a sitcom, just start laughing your ass off. Trust me, you will feel much, much better.